On the Basis of Sex ....Have we moved on?

Earlier this week I watched the film, “On the Basis of Sex” which is a biopic about the 85 year-old renowned Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

The film centres on the landmark case Ruth and her husband, Marty worked on together in 1972 Charles E Mortiz –v- Commissioner of Internal Revenue, a ground-breaking case that changed American society and paved the way for women to take a more equal role.

It portrays Ruth’s work to end gender discrimination, her remarkable 56 year marriage; a marriage full of joy, optimism and mutual support, quite unusual for the times. Of her husband Ruth says “[Marty] was the first boy I ever knew who cared that I had a brain. Most guys in the ‘50s didn’t” .

Long before we get to see Ruth’s role as a feminist leader cemented in the history books, we see Ruth’s struggle to be taken seriously in the male dominated legal profession, repeatedly turned away from jobs she was well qualified to do with explicit sexism, interviewers saying things like “the wives would be jealous” or “A woman and a mother and a Jew to boot!” before dismissing her entirely.

What’s this got to do with me?

Whilst I am no Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I was once, in the not too distant past, a solicitor working in private law firms and let me tell you, the discrimination, sexism and downright hostility I experienced during those years tells me that not much has changed since Ruth Bader Ginsburg took on the system and won.  As we celebrate International Women’s Day don’t kid yourself that women have equality, we do not.

Long before I qualified as a solicitor, I worked as a legal secretary. In a job interview I had in the very early 90s a male interviewer, after asking me if I had a boyfriend, went on to ask “what perfume are you wearing? If we are going to spend lots of time together, working late nights, I’ll buy you a bottle of something I like”.

If you are tempted to think this is harmless, maybe even a display of generosity, think again. This interviewer was at least 30 years old than me. The interview started at 4.30 in the afternoon; I was still in the building at 7 o’clock at night when everyone else had gone home. I was young, inexperienced and I was terrified. I told him I would take the job so that I could safely leave. The next day I wrote a letter (we didn’t have email in those days, hard to imagine now I know) and I refused his job. His response was to send flowers to my place of work. I refused again. He telephoned me repeatedly, only stopping when my boss at the time took the phone and threatened to report him to the Law Society for misconduct.

But it didn’t stop there …

Many years later, when I was employed as a solicitor, I endured overt sexism in all but one of the firms I worked for and I'm talking about the type of sexism that leaves you in no doubt you are not an equal.

In one firm I worked for I was not permitted to mention my children, some people didn't even know I had children, any mention of them was frowned upon. I was never allowed a minute of time to tend to them if they were ill, to attend parents evening, assemblies or Christmas plays. 

My next job was part-time. I thought it might be easier to manage my family commitments. I was wrong. I remember very vividly an occasion when I was supposed to finish work at 12.30 pm so I could collect my daughter from her day care nursery at 1 pm. The case was running over and I couldn't stay, who would look after my daughter? I tried to explain but the managing partner of the law firm said to me “If you leave that court room, don’t bother coming back to work, you’ll be sacked”. I stayed. I received no pay for the extra hours and yet despite the injustice I felt nothing but relief that my nursery had the space to keep my daughter for the afternoon and I could keep my job. 

Its the 21st century and yet it goes on ….

When I announced to my boss I was pregnant with my third child, he said “but you told me you weren’t having any more children?” He then insisted I hide my pregnancy from the managing partner who was a particularly vulgar and hateful man. My boss said this was for my own good; he was fearful the managing partner would “be furious”, he may even fire me. I was five months pregnant by the time I persuaded my boss, begged him in fact, to tell the partner I was expecting a baby. He was right of course, I was verbally abused. I endured a tirade of abuse as well as vulgar and offensive comments over several weeks about my life choices and the changes in my body due to the pregnancy, comments too graphic, personal and hurtful to repeat here.   

Now you may think this is all an exaggeration, after all this was happening in the 21st century but there was worse to come. Just two days after my baby was born I received a telephone call from my boss asking me when I was returning to work. My son was just 48 hours old; he didn’t even have a name.

I endured months of harassment, phone calls, letters and unsolicited visits all designed to force me back in to work.  Eventually I relented, the pressure was too much and five months after my baby was born I returned to work for fear my team would be made redundant. It was like I’d never been away.

Three weeks later they made me redundant. I had no job.

Then came an incredible admission

Several years later I bumped in to my old boss at a party. It was an awkward moment. He sidled alongside me and began with small talk before making the most incredible admission, he said they’d known when they brought me back to work they were going to make me redundant but they felt the risk of a successful tribunal claim was less likely if I was back in the workplace. He appeared to have no clue of the impact of his actions. I had a legal right to twelve months maternity leave and by returning early I lost my entitlement to maternity pay and all the associated benefits. It was an incredible admission for him to make and it stung like hell. I like to think his conscience finally got the better of him.  

The law was on my side and yet I was silent

I ask myself, why did I endure all of that? I’m a no shrinking violet; I am tough, some would say fierce. I had laws laws to protect me, I could have done something about it, and I could have raised a grievance, brought a discrimination claim or got another job and yet ….. I never said a word. I kept my mouth firmly shut, I endured it, and I carried on. 

Why did I do that? There were two reasons. The first was about putting food on the table. All but one of the firms I worked for as a female lawyer treated me badly so my options for gainful and harmonious employment (and food) didn't look good. The second reason, and I like to think the primary reason, is that I’d worked so damn hard to get there. A working class girl with very little high school education, I clawed my way to that court room, I felt every step of the journey, it wasn't easy and I wasn’t prepared to give it up, those bigots wouldn't beat me. I would work harder. I would be the bigger person. I would succeed despite them.

I see now that they did beat me. I compromised too much, I turned away too often; I was scared of failing. I took on characteristics that diluted my femininity and dulled my emotional intelligence; blinded by my ambition I became harder, sharper, doggedly single-minded, pushing aside family and friends, oblivious to the warning signs. It’s taken a lot of hard work and a lot of time to undo this damage to my true self, it's required lots of self care, personal development, kindness and patience.

Equality? I don’t think so.

Ten years on, as an older, more experienced and confident woman if this were to happen to me now it would be a different experience for all the players involved. I would take them on; I would have my eyes wide open and I would use the tools at my disposal. I could succeed today. Does this mean women have equality now? No. We’ve made progress but I don’t believe women have equality. 

International Women’s Day helps us to raise awareness of our inequality, it reminds us to give thanks for the progress we’ve made, but don’t for one moment think we’ve made it; we haven’t. With The Times Up, Me Too movement we’ve picked up the fight again. Whilst it’s still in its infancy it has has given us a kick-start, reminding us of the need to push on, providing a platform for the courageous voices of women to shout against injustice, inequality and sexual violence, there’s much, much more to be done.

In the words of Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States Ruth Bader Ginsburg "Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time."