Can we stop talking about Imposter Syndrome?

I am a believer, don’t get me wrong …

It’s not that I don’t believe in Imposter Syndrome, I know it exists, I know it’s real but every day I open my social media accounts and I am swamped with posts, articles, podcasts, tips and cures. We keep scratching it and where once we had just an itch, now we have a scab and it’s bleeding, it’s getting worse every day because we keep going back to it, we won’t leave it alone and now it is our sole focus. We see nothing else but this terrible scab that is taking over mind and body; a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom, holding us back.

Is there an alternative medicine?  You bet there is.

I’ve been very fortunate in my career to work with some very clever people, amongst them a bunch of Public Health practitioners who firmly believe in the power of people and communities to solve their own problems, it’s called an asset based approach and they live and breathe this stuff.  Fundamentally it is about the power of people, relationships and connectivity.  It starts with “what’s strong, not what’s wrong”.

An asset-based approach is citizen led; the premise is “what can we do best for ourselves, each other and our community?”. It puts the citizen in the driving seat and it gives them control, enabling them to use the assets they have rather than highlighting what they don’t have.  

That might not sound like a big deal but with 1 in 5 people in our communities living in poverty, reminding people of their assets, of all that is good about them, their families and the place where they live, this thing called “community”, it can be transformational.   It shifts the power to the citizen and the role of the system becomes nothing more than a connecter, an enabler. The citizen is the doer, the change-maker, the community leader.  Nothing is being “done” to them, they are organising themselves, growing in confidence and developing skills for life.

It has not been lost on me that this approach sounds very like transformational coaching, an alternative medicine to ease the itch, the epidemic we are calling imposter syndrome.

Take the person, and ask them the question “what can you do best for yourself, your colleagues and your community of interest”? Help them to understand “what’s strong, not what’s wrong” – to define their values, to identify their strengths and the power in their networks – if you can do this, the path is set for positive change.

So is it a cure, this asset based approach?

The asset based approach is not a cure; what it gives you is self-awareness, opening the door to self- belief. But it’s not easy. Weaknesses will undoubtedly emerge, and professional help may be required to overcome them.

What this will look like will vary from person to person but be prepared, it might get tough. You may have to face deep rooted childhood issues if you are truly going to shake off your imposter and move in to a place of self-belief.  There is no easy fix, you may try and fail several times before you find the right solution for you. 

What I do know is that just about everyone will find a weakness they cannot overcome, a place where self-belief will never be present.

Honesty is always the best policy

Let me start with the honesty.

As a leader, there are lots of things that I cannot do but I don’t feel bad about them. I’ve dealt with my imposter, and I know a big part of my role is to understand my weaknesses, to be smart enough to plan for them, surrounding myself with people who can do that “thing” I can’t do,  people who are passionate and committed, people who keep my interest and energy levels high. And if I find I am stuck, I am never be afraid to ask for help.

Relationships matter, you are not alone.

I can honestly say I have never asked a friend or colleague for help and been left wanting, it has only ever strengthened my relationships with the people around me.   

While the asset based approach considers every person as having irreplaceable gifts, skills and passions, as an approach it goes beyond individuals and their capacities, to tap into relational (plural) power. It enables consensual ‘grouping-up’ or hive like behaviours to amplify and multiply the capacities of individuals, ensuring the societal whole is greater than the sum of its individual parts. This is not to say that the individuality of members does not matter, it does, but rather to point out that for us to have a good life there are certain things we need to do with each other, as we cannot do them alone, that is where relational power matters[1]. I urge you to take your network seriously and to invest in it, surround yourself with people you admire, people who give you energy, who challenge you and who are willing to hold you to account. I promise you, you’ll never regret it.

Moral of the story? Get over it.

I don’t under-estimate the hold Imposter Syndrome can have but we must stop obsessing about it, we are re-enforcing negative beliefs on an epic scale and it’s self-destructive. Instead, let’s focus our energy on really understanding our assets – our values, strengths, the things we are good at and improving our relationships and networks.

Let’s be honest about our weaknesses but not be afraid of them. If we can overcome them, that’s great. If we can’t – let’s be clear - it’s really not the end of the world.  Get over it. Find someone in our circle who can fill the gap.

Instead, concentrate on what we excel at and never be afraid to ask for help. People are generally kind, they like to be asked to help, they’ll be flattered, proud often and given the chance they will lift you up.  

Feel the fear and do it anyway

Is this an empty platitude?   It depends how you choose to respond to it. You can carry on worrying about your weaknesses, telling yourself you aren’t good enough, denying yourself the opportunity to move forward or you can ask yourself, “who’s out there right now who can help me?”.  

Once you know the answer, just ask them.  I am sure it will change you, how you feel about yourself, how you conduct your business and just as importantly, how you will respond the next time someone asks you for help. We rise by lifting others.

Instead of feeding your imposter by constantly talking about it and worrying about it, instead put your energy in to understanding "what's strong, not what's wrong".

[1] https://www.nurturedevelopment.org/blog/asset-based-community-development-5-core-principles/